


The Reason Why

by Marie_Tomas



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Awkward Tension, Confessions, Crushes, Early Days, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Hugs, M/M, Misunderstandings, Nervous Jared, Protective Jensen, Self Confidence Issues, Shy Jared Padalecki, Talking, Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-14 23:57:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11794149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marie_Tomas/pseuds/Marie_Tomas
Summary: Jensen Ackles was pretty sure that his co-star, Jared Padalecki, hated him.





	The Reason Why

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I've had saved in my notes for a while and I really wanted to finish it. I kind of wanted to write something different to the usually accepted portrayals of shy!Jensen and confident!Jared, as well as the idea of the two of them instantly hitting it off at their first audition, so I decided to completely reverse things here. I hope it works. 
> 
> Of course, this work is entirely fictional. :)

Jensen Ackles was pretty sure that his co-star, Jared Padalecki, hated him.

Sure, he knew that his family and friends might put this theory down to paranoia, or maybe a tendency for him to get irrationally obsessed over minor things, but in this case, Jensen really thought that his suspicions were correct.

He'd known that something was up right from their first audition, when Jared Padalecki had barely looked him in the eye, choosing instead to keep his head down as he mumbled a quick 'hello', the two of them not even talking until they started to read lines together. It even seemed like it had taken all of Jared's effort just to shake Jensen's hand at the start of the audition, although he'd been happy to talk to and shake hands with everybody else in the room.

As much as Jensen had found the guy hot, and cute, and sexy (way too sexy to be playing his brother, anyway), it wasn't exactly a great experience, dealing with someone who looked like he'd rather be anywhere else than in an audition room with him.

At the time, Jensen had put Jared's behavior down to nerves, or maybe the fact that he'd considered Jensen as some sort of competition for the part he wanted, or even the possibility that he'd heard not-so-nice rumors about Jensen's behavior while working on other sets (after all, Jensen had been no saint during his early years of working in Hollywood), and maybe his personal opinions had been formed based on a few of those rumors.

Jensen had therefore hoped that things would change when they both got the part on the show and they started working together, and he'd assumed that Jared would finally work out that Jensen wasn't interested in competing with him for screen time, and that he also wasn't as much of an asshole in person as certain fellow actors might make out.

Yet Jared's strange behavior had continued on set. Sure, he would rehearse scenes with Jensen and they would read through their lines together while discussing their characters, but beyond that, Jared still made no effort to talk to him about anything that wasn't related to their roles as Sam and Dean Winchester.

It was like he would shut down when Jensen was in the room; he would go quiet or duck his head or shuffle around from one foot to the other, his eyes on the nearest door like he couldn't wait to get out of his trailer or away from the set, as though planning a quick escape if all other avoiding-Jensen-tactics failed. And boy did Jared go out of his way to avoid Jensen on set. Without fail, he would always head in the opposite direction whenever Jensen tried to approach him, or he would simply move to the other side of the room when Jensen entered the same room.

Even Jared's body language gave away his apparent dislike of Jensen; when he wasn't standing with his head down and his arms folded, he would be sighing whenever Jensen was around, or looking at his watch, or even rolling his eyes sometimes when Jensen was talking…like the time when Jensen was enthusiastically talking about his latest date with a hot guy at a fancy restaurant where he got to drink a lot of expensive wine, and Jared's eye rolling and loud sighs in the corner of the room had ruined all of his enthusiasm, in spite of the cast and crew's eager reactions to his recollections of the evening.

At other times, Jensen had overheard Jared muttering Jensen's name when he was talking to certain crew members, all of them talking in hushed voices and furious whispers as though they were saying a load of negative stuff about Jensen behind his back.

* * *

Jensen wasn't even sure what he'd done wrong. Sure, he'd had a reputation for not getting along so well with a couple of his previous co-stars (although, in his defense, some of those co-stars had been jerks), and also a reputation for being a player, and he knew that he could come across as a little moody and sarcastic sometimes, but he doubted that he was anywhere near as bad as some Hollywood actors  _could_  be; he knew that his family would get mad at him and bring him back down to earth if he ever started to get too above himself.

Besides, he had never done anything specifically to Jared to make him mad or to personally insult him. Not as far as he knew, anyway.

He briefly considered the possibility that it might be some kind of homophobic thing on Jared's part-especially as Jensen made no secret of his sexuality among close friends and co-workers, and he knew that there were still people in the industry who could be seriously intolerant. But then, he'd overheard Jared talking to crew members about friends of his who were in same-sex relationships, so he knew that couldn't be it.

* * *

Eventually, in an attempt to get Jared to  _not_  hate him, and to prove that he wasn't as much of a jerk as his former co-workers might insist he had been, Jensen decided to make more effort with his co-star. So, he went out of his way to smile at him more often, carefully avoiding the typical banter and joking insults that he usually shared with less uptight co-workers; he offered to read lines together between takes; he attempted to make small talk between rehearsals and he even went as far as randomly showing up at Jared's trailer to 'borrow' stuff he didn't really need, like scripts or bottles of water, just to see if this could lead to any kind of friendly conversation between the two of them.

Yet none of this made any difference, because even though Jared would always (reluctantly) agree to read lines with him, he still wouldn't join in with Jensen's small talk, choosing instead to respond to Jensen's constant questions with simple yes-or-no answers or shrugs; he always politely declined any of Jensen's invitations to hang out after work; and he would usually look kind of stressed out whenever Jensen showed up at his trailer unannounced.

* * *

In other circumstances, Jensen really wouldn't have cared about a co-star hating him. He knew from past experience that it wasn't really a requirement to get along with actors in order to work with them. Most of the time, actors were really competitive with each other, and working on set frequently led to heated arguments and battles for the limelight. Real friendship was usually the last thing on anybody's mind. He knew very well that the image of being 'one big, happy family' was often just a myth sold to fans and the press.

Anyway, Jensen hadn't got along with other co-stars in the past, and he'd simply dealt with that issue by focusing on his own acting and only really caring about his own career, and also understanding that his  _real_  friends and family were often living their lives off set.

So in most cases, it wouldn't have been a problem. However, it was a problem  _now_ , on  _this_  set, because Jensen Ackles was hopelessly in love with Jared Padalecki...

He knew that others might dismiss his feelings, or simply put them down to infatuation or lust rather than love (especially as Jensen had never actually been in love before), or they would even accuse him of just wanting what he couldn't have.

But for Jensen, it wasn't like that. He knew that he could never be in love with Jared if he was as much of a jerk to everyone else as he was to Jensen. He could still have been in lust, maybe, in those circumstances-after all, Jared was one of the hottest guys that Jensen had ever met, and he'd had plenty of crushes on hot jerks in the past, but love was something totally different.

No, the reason why Jensen had fallen in love with Jared was because he'd seen just how awesome his co-star was with other people.

He always paid close attention as Jared greeted new cast and crew members with a smile and a hug, treating everyone as an equal and offering to show everyone around the set. He'd even held hands with a couple of the nervous female crew members sometimes, to offer reassurance.

Jared was adored by all the make-up ladies, and he took an interest in their lives, asking them about their day and their kids and grand kids, even buying them expensive gifts for their birthdays, or leaving boxes of chocolate for them at the end of a busy week, along with a few heartfelt notes, offering words of encouragement.

Jensen knew that Jared loved animals, because his face always lit up when crew members brought their pets to the set, and he even brought his own dogs to work sometimes, happily playing fetch with them between takes. Jared was just as caring when co-workers brought their kids to work, too, and kids and babies seemed to adore Jared immediately, giggling and laughing as Jared played games with them or carried them around the set.

Jared had the most adorable smile that Jensen had ever seen, complete with dimples, and he looked even more perfect when he was laughing, especially when he would throw his head back and laugh fully and freely at the jokes made by the crew members Jared was close to. He seemed to wear his heart on his sleeve (when he was around his friends, anyway), and he seemed to feel every emotion so deeply, going from heartfelt laughter to sad shrugs and eyes filled with tears, depending on the intensity of the situations around him.

Jensen often worried that he himself could be a little cold and cynical, and it was kind of refreshing to see someone who was still so open and sensitive.

Unlike Jensen, who wasn't all that comfortable with sharing physical affection, Jared seemed to love being affectionate with his friends, and everyone on set loved being wrapped up in Jared's hugs. In spite of his own general reluctance to be affectionate, Jensen wasted a worrying amount of time on set every day daydreaming about finally getting to experience one of Jared's famous hugs first-hand, of getting to be wrapped up in Jared's strong arms.

Jensen also often heard Jared talking with his friends on set about his favorite books, movies, TV shows; his favorite places to eat; his favorite places to hang out; his life back home with family in Texas, and he knew that the two of them would have so much in common, if only Jared would actually make an effort to talk to him.

There just seemed to be something that was genuinely kind and loving about Jared; something pure, something innocent, something  _different_  to the guys Jensen had dated before. Most of the guys Jensen typically dated were stylish and well-dressed, mainly interested in getting into VIP clubs in L.A., and drinking expensive wine while hanging out with other actors. Yet there was something about Jared, with his messy hair and his sneakers and his casual clothes and his dimples that really held Jensen's attention.

"Dude, you are so  _gone_!" Jensen's buddies would always tell him mockingly whenever Jensen got a little too drunk and decided to slur out this list of reasons why Jared Padalecki was so awesome.

If there was one thing that Jensen wanted more than anything in the world, it was for Jared to share this side of himself with Jensen-to allow Jensen to share a part of everything that was beautiful about Jared Padalecki, the way that everybody else on set seemed to get to share it.

Yet all he ever got from Jared were the sighs and the eye rolls and the one-word answers.

* * *

For a little while, Jensen gave up on trying to be extra nice to Jared and he simply backed off, hoping that this might prompt Jared to approach him to ask him why there was a problem between the two of them; but still nothing changed, leaving Jensen feeling more disappointed than ever.

He was only prompted to do something about it one evening after work, when his sister sent him a video of Jared talking about him in an interview, writing in the subject line of her email: ' _This is so adorable!_ '.

In the video, Jared was praising Jensen's acting abilities, talking in depth about how Jensen perfectly portrayed the character of Dean Winchester and how dedicated he was to the craft, with a soft smile on his face and a flicker of passion in his eyes the whole time he talked.

Jensen then clicked on a few more videos of Jared, and he noticed that he seemed to praise Jensen excessively in every single one.

Everything about Jared's words and actions in front of the camera suggested that he and Jensen were the best of friends, and yet Jensen felt nothing but sadness while watching, given his knowledge about how Jared _really_  felt about him, and how he acted around Jensen in person. It made his comments in the video seem really... _fake_ -like just another shallow, staged Hollywood performance- as much as he  _wished_  that Jared could smile at him and praise him like that in real life.

It was almost physically painful, thinking about how it must seem to fans of the show like the two of them were so close, like it was so easy for the two of them to work together and play brothers and travel around the world promoting the show. Yet all of it was a lie.

That was when Jensen realized that he couldn't deal with the hostility between the two of them anymore, or the falseness of their apparent bond on screen (and in front of the media), when things were clearly so tense behind the scenes.

More than anything, he just wanted a reason-something to explain  _why_  Jared was always so rude to him when he apparently admired his acting abilities so much.

After a few phone calls, and a lot of begging, and a couple promises to be extra nice to Jared and to be on his best behavior the whole time (along with a promise to pay for all of the drinks at the next cast party), Jensen eventually managed to get Jared's address from one of the crew members. Then, after spending way too long getting ready and nervously rehearsing all of the possible things he could say to Jared-all of the plausible-sounding explanations as to why he had decided to show up at his co-star's home at night-Jensen eventually set off in the direction of Jared's place, feeling weirdly nervous, and a little like he might throw up, and also kind of like a creepy stalker throughout the journey. But he also felt determinedly resolute, and slightly excited at the possibility of getting to see Jared outside of work.

As nervous as he was, he knew that they couldn't go on the way they were, and he therefore had to do something about it, even if it meant resorting to showing up uninvited at Jared's house.

* * *

Jensen had to ring the bell and knock several times before Jared answered the door. As he opened the door, Jared definitely didn't look pleased to see him.

 _As always_ , Jensen thought bitterly.

At first, Jared's eyes widened, like he was kind of scared and confused as to why Jensen was there, then he seemed to shut down again, ducking his head and folding him arms.

"Uh…can I come in?" Jensen asked him uncertainly, now wondering if this really had been such a good idea. "I have to talk to you about…uh…work stuff," he added, feeling like Jared would send him away if he said he was there to talk about anything other than the show, but also wishing that he could have been a little smoother in his opening line.

"Uh…sure?" Jared replied, sounding just as uncertain. His cheeks even looked kind of flushed.

Jared then turned slowly and headed down the hall towards his living room.

Jensen shrugged and followed him, deciding to assume that Jared was inviting him in.

In the living room, Jared's dogs greeted him happily, wagging their tails and even jumping up at him to lick his hands, but their owner definitely didn't share their enthusiasm, if the irritated look on his face and the shuffling of his feet were anything to go by.

They stared at each other awkwardly for a little too long, standing on opposite sides of the room with their arms folded like they were in some kind of weird stand off. Jensen felt the silence pressing in on them as every long second ticked by.

Eventually, he was the one to break the silence. "Look, Jared," he spluttered, as he started to pace the room nervously. There were so many things he  _could_  say to turn this into some kind of long, eloquent speech, a little like the scenes they acted out on set, but right now, he felt like he just wanted to get this real-life moment over with. "I know that things aren't good between us…and I…uh…I just want to know the reason why?I want to know the reason why you hate me so much?"

As Jensen finished speaking, Jared's eyes slowly widened, like he was actually shocked by what Jensen had just said.

"Because, if I knew the reason why you hated me," Jensen continued, before Jared could shut the conversation down, "then maybe I could do something about it. I mean, I can't promise I'll make some drastic change or anythin', I'm not exactly a great people-person, but maybe we could talk about it, you know; maybe I could apologize for whatever it is you think I did, and we could find a way to still work together without all of this hostility-"

"I don't hate you," Jared suddenly interrupted him, his voice barely more than a whisper.

"Dude, you could have fooled me," Jensen replied sarcastically, feeling frustrated that Jared was obviously going to brush this off by pretending that there wasn't a problem. "I mean, come on, you're fine with the rest of the cast and the crew, but you gotta admit that you act like a dick whenever  _I'm_  around. It's pretty obvious that something's up. Sure, I know you might have heard stuff, rumors about my past or somethin'. Or maybe I said or did something to offend you, even if I didn't mean it. Whatever it was, we should try to deal with it and move on. But we can't do that unless you tell me  _why_  you hate me."

"I don't hate you, Jensen," Jared repeated, sounding a little more determined this time.

Jensen was just about to let out a groan of frustration when Jared suddenly sighed a deep, mournful sigh, sat down slowly on his sofa and mumbled, "You make me nervous, okay?"

For once, Jensen was rendered speechless. He really hadn't expected an answer like that. As Jared's cheeks turned bright red, Jensen stood and stared at him in silence, with his mouth open and his eyes wide. He felt a mixture of shock and confusion at Jared's words, and he definitely had no clue as to  _why_  he would make Jared nervous.

"Huh?" he finally managed to say, even if it wasn't the most sensitive response.

"Y-you make me nervous," Jared repeated, as though this repetition would explain everything.

" _I_ make  _you_  nervous?" Jensen asked him in a tone of disbelief. He wondered if Jared could even begin to understand how terrifying it was to come to work every day knowing that his co-star was beautiful, and tall, and strong, and perfect, while at the same time thinking that the same man who he liked so much despised him.

Jared simply nodded slowly, looking kind of upset.

"You know I'm not  _trying_  to make you nervous?" Jensen asked him desperately, uncertainly, just in case Jared thought that he was being  _deliberately_  aggressive or rude to him or something. Jensen knew that sarcasm and insults always fell easily from his lips, partly because he'd had to stand up for himself a lot in the past in a tough industry, and partly because he was just sarcastic by nature, while Jared seemed pretty sensitive by nature, so he frantically tried to think back to anything he might have said or done to Jared since they started working together that could have come across as a little intimidating.

"Yeah…uh…I know that…." Jared replied, making Jensen feel even more confused. "I know it's not your  _fault_  that you make me nervous. That's just how you make me feel."

"So…uh…any particular reason why I make you feel so nervous?" Jensen asked him, still feeling confused and really wanting to find out what the hell was going on.

"Look at you," Jared answered him, sounding kind of breathless, kind of reluctant, and Jensen actually looked himself up and down, as though the view of his own body would provide him with an answer. At a loss for an explanation, he looked back at Jared with a bewildered shrug.

"You're so… _hot_ ," Jared offered as further clarification, making Jensen's eyes go even wider in shock, if that was even possible. He'd never even imagined (except perhaps in his deepest, darkest fantasies) that Jared would find any guy hot. He'd never shown any signs on set of being into guys, so the fact that Jared found  _him_  hot was kind of hard to process.

"What the….?" Jensen started to ask him, but then he went quiet again when Jared went an even darker shade of red.

"You're so hot," Jared continued, looking at the floor. "You might be the most attractive guy I've ever seen in person. And right from the first audition, I couldn't talk to you without feeling breathless, and I was so nervous I couldn't even look you in the eye..."

Jensen blinked rapidly, still feeling too shocked to speak. He actually pinched himself to make sure that he wasn't dreaming.

"And…uh…I thought it would wear off after a little while-not your hotness, but my embarrassment when I was around you. I thought it would get easier when we started working together and I saw you every day. But it didn't, especially when I realized how awesome a guy you are, too. It just made things worse..."

"I'm really not that awesome a guy, Jared," Jensen jumped in, finally finding his voice and feeling like he needed to tell Jared the truth. As much as Jensen's fans told him that he was awesome, he wasn't delusional enough to believe all of the hype. He knew he'd had his moments of being a jerk; his moments of being rude or letting his new-found fame go to his head. He'd been a pretty crappy boyfriend, at times, when he'd first started dating guys, and he'd had his fair share of one-night stands. He wasn't exactly Mr. Sensitive or Mr. Romantic.

"You  _are_  awesome, Jensen," Jared insisted. "Even if you don't see it. _I_ see it, on set, when you think nobody's watching, and you praise all the cast and crew, keeping up the morale, or when you get so passionate about your role or the story lines that you offer advice to new directors, or you help write the scripts. And when you tell really hilarious jokes and everybody laughs along with you. Or when you talk so intelligently about books or science or politics. Or when you get this self-conscious look on your face when somebody tells you that you're an amazing actor, like you actually can't believe it..."

Jared suddenly seemed to realize that he'd just said all this out loud, because he blushed all over again, quickly going quiet as he looked down at the floor and ran a hand nervously through his hair.

Jensen stayed quiet for a little while, too, partly because he was still in shock, but mainly because he was feeling a little overwhelmed that Jared was praising him like this after so many months of  _nothing_. As bizarre as this moment was, Jensen couldn't help feeling kind of smug that Jared Padalecki actually thought that  _he_  was hot. And awesome.

"So, I really make you nervous?" Jensen asked him carefully, kind of wanting Jared to say it again, now he knew  _why_  he made Jared so nervous.

Jared nodded, still looking uncomfortable, maybe at the idea of speaking so openly to Jensen like this. "Even now, after working together for a while, every time I'm in the same room as you, I always blush like an idiot, or I even sweat a little, and I feel like I can't breathe...and it must be so obvious, and you must think I'm such a  _loser_ , and I guess I just wanted to save myself the embarrassment of admitting how I felt and looking like an even bigger loser...but with you saying just now that you thought I hated you..."

"I don't think you're a loser," Jensen insisted. He thought many things about Jared, but 'loser' definitely wasn't one of them. "But trust me, you have no idea how much I think about you, how much I lo- uh...how much I like you, Jared," Jensen told him, his voice sounding much softer and gentler than usual, much to Jensen's surprise. Maybe seeing Jared all vulnerable like this just brought out a more caring side of him. "As _more_ than just a platonic co-worker," he added, for further clarification. "That's why it sucked so much when I thought that you hated me..."

Jared looked up at him, shocked, and like he totally didn't believe him.

Jensen tried to convince him just by the sincere expression on his face. Although he wasn't sure if he was convincing enough, given the continued look of disbelief on Jared's face. "It might have helped a little though," he continued, "if you actually talked to me about all of this instead of giving me the silent treatment..."

"I tried, okay? Even the crew members were trying to give me advice...discreetly suggesting ways I could start conversations with you, break the ice, you know? But I messed it up every single time..."

Jensen felt even more shocked at the idea that others on set  _knew_  how Jared felt about him. Jared's constant hushed conversations with crew members-where Jensen's name always seemed to be mentioned-suddenly started to make a lot more sense. "But, you always seem so confident when you're around your buddies on set?" said Jensen with a disbelieving shake of his head. "I never would have figured that you were acting that way with  _me_  because you were nervous."

"I'm confident with some people, I guess," Jared shrugged. "And I can put on a good performance when I'm being filmed, or when I'm in front of a crowd. But when I'm around guys I like..." He blushed again. "And with you being so hot...and all the guys you date are probably really hot, too, and I'm just-"

"Jared, have you  _looked_  at yourself in the mirror lately?" Jensen asked him with a raised eyebrow. When Jared frowned at him, looking confused, Jensen continued, "Practically every girl on set wants to marry you. Any guys on set who are into guys always think you're hot. Even a couple of guys who _aren't_ into guys think you're hot ...And you know, a lot of fans have made websites practically dedicated to how hot you are...not that I look at those sites, or anythin'...And you might just be one of the hottest guys I've ever met. And that's saying somethin'..."

Jared blushed all over again. Surprisingly, Jensen blushed a little, too, as he told Jared, "What I mean is, if you actually realized how good-looking you are, you wouldn't be so freaked out about how hot you think _I_ am..."

Jensen couldn't believe that Jared didn't realize how beautiful and perfect he was already. Surely he'd had exes who'd told him all this? Surely there were so many stunningly attractive guys who constantly tried to ask him out?

"I uh...I've never done any of this before, okay?" Jared mumbled, his head bowed, looking ashamed. "This whole dating-guys thing, or the whole dating thing in general. Back in high school, I was kind of the geeky kid who was picked on by the other students, and I was never confident enough to go on dates..."

Jensen felt a twist of sympathy, remembering his own high school years. He already hated anyone who'd ever made Jared believe that he wasn't good enough, that he somehow wasn't worthy of a loving relationship, for whatever reason. He kind of wished that he and Jared had been in high school together back home. Jensen would have totally kicked anybody's ass who picked on Jared. And he totally would have asked Jared out, too, no matter how geeky Jared had been.

Then Jensen remembered that Jared was younger than him. Sometimes, he forgot just how young Jared was. Maybe it was the fact that Jared could be so professional on set, or the fact that he already had a few years' experience of living and working away from home, or maybe it was because he was so good at getting into character when he was playing Sam Winchester. Whatever it was, he had always seemed a little older than his actual age to Jensen, and Jensen had to remind himself that Jared had only been in high school pretty recently. Maybe his youth was one of the reasons why he was so innocent and inexperienced...

"And after I left school and moved out to L.A. to act, I knew how to learn lines and play characters and be entertaining at auditions, but I still wasn't confident enough to approach guys and ask them out in real life, and the longer it went on, the whole no-dating thing, I mean, the more awkward it got to actually get started on it. So uh, yeah, even if what you're saying about being hot is true, it still wouldn't make it any easier to approach and make conversation with a guy who knows what he's doing in relationships. Even the thought of going on a date with you to the places you usually go on dates makes me feel kind of ill, and I don't even know what I'd  _say_  to you during the date..."

As Jared finished speaking, he let out a long sigh. Jensen wasn't sure if it was a sigh of relief at finally getting all of this stuff off his chest, or a sigh of sadness at revealing to Jensen what he no doubt thought were his embarrassing secrets.

Jared's inexperience explained a lot. Well, it sure explained a lot of his behavior around Jensen, anyway. Jensen had spent so much time around confident (sometimes arrogant) actors with high self-esteem and inflated beliefs about their good looks that he sometimes forgot that there were also actors who had turned to the profession due to their own personal insecurities. Those who were trying to escape themselves and their low self-esteem by pretending to be somebody else; by playing a convincing role in front of the cameras.

Yet in spite of feeling a tug of sympathy towards Jared at his obvious discomfort and embarrassment, he also couldn't help feeling weirdly happy about everything that Jared had just told him. He could deal with all this-Jared's nerves and his inexperience. Because  _this_ , this revelation that Jared was into guys, and also the fact that Jared didn't hate him, the fact that Jared thought that he was hot, was  _way better_  than anything Jensen could have predicted. Jensen probably would have started doing some kind of embarrassing celebratory dance around Jared's living room, if Jared hadn't looked like he was about to cry.

He couldn't even bring himself to care that they were co-workers; that they played  _brothers_ ; that their bosses would probably hate the idea of them being a couple. Because right now, nothing mattered except him and Jared being  _together_. Jensen would even deal with dates where Jared was too nervous to say a word, as long as he actually got to go on a date with Jared. 

"What if we just took things slow? You and me?" Jensen asked him, slowly, carefully, not wanting to mess anything up between them now. He suddenly realized that he would take things as slow as Jared needed, if that's what it took. He would do the whole romance thing; flowers and hearts and candles-or no romance at all, at first, if that's what Jared wanted. He would forgo all the usual physical satisfaction that he usually expected from the early stages of dating and relationships, if it meant that he could eventually be Jared's boyfriend. He would do anything for Jared.

Damn, he thought, with a blush, he must really be as 'gone' for Jared as his buddies always insisted he was.

"What do you mean?" Jared asked him, warily, sounding like he was already getting ready to refuse any possible suggestions that they go to an expensive restaurant, or any possible hints that they just resolve all this by taking it to the bedroom.

"Well...uh...maybe we could just hang out somewhere you feel comfortable, at first?" Jensen suggested, thinking on his feet. "Like here, at your place. We could...uh...we could just watch TV, order pizza, eat popcorn, take the dogs for a walk. We could keep the conversation casual, with no pressure, no panic about who should say what. We could keep things relaxed, laid back." Jensen knew that he was improvising a little, but he'd never done the whole relaxed, chilled out thing before, so he was sure that all of this would be new for him, too. "We could hang out in each others trailers at work, play video games or somethin'. Then maybe, eventually, we could progress to eating out at diners or at fast food places. Nothing crazy..."

"You would do all that?" Jared asked him, looking doubtful. "You would  _want_  to do all that stuff, with me?"

Jensen nodded, knowing already that he would do all of it, for Jared. He was already silently forgiving Jared for months of silent treatment, and all the irritated expressions and the rude comments. He now felt weirdly protective of Jared, like he wanted to take care of him, guide him, show him how amazing he was, make him feel more confident when he was around him, and also keep all of his secrets, keep Jared all to himself. A deep, primitive part of him also felt strangely satisfied that he was going to be the first guy to do all this with Jared.

"What do you say?" Jensen prompted, eagerly, trying not to sound too confident, too cocky, trying not to smirk or swagger around the room.

"I uh...I'd like that," Jared answered, still looking kind of terrified, but also like he was trying to fight off a grin.

Jensen could help grinning back at him. "What if we start right now?" Jensen asked him, suddenly realizing that he didn't want to go home just yet, didn't want to leave Jared, now that he knew that Jared didn't hate him.

He knew that it wouldn't be easy, this new, sort-of-dating thing that they were going to do, but it would be worth it.

"Just hanging out, I mean?" he clarified, not wanting to scare Jared off. "Maybe we could just watch TV for an hour? Then I'll leave, I promise."

Jared nodded, slowly, still looking nervous, especially when Jensen sat next to him on the sofa, but also looking kind of enthusiastic at the idea of spending more time with Jensen.

They sat in silence for a little while, with only the sound of the TV show in the background that Jensen wasn't really paying attention to. Jensen wasn't sure whether the silence was a tense or a comfortable one. Yet he still felt like he was having the best night ever.

"So...uh...how about we have a fast, awkward hug to seal the deal?" Jensen asked Jared with a grin, trying his luck.

"Uh...okay..." Jared responded after thinking about it for a little while.

They turned to face each other, before Jared slowly pulled Jensen in closer, his movements kind of awkward. As Jared wrapped him up in his arms, Jensen couldn't help letting out a soft sigh of contentment, finally feeling like he was _home_ in Jared's arms, in spite of Jared's deep breaths and his rapid heartbeat. He already knew that he wanted to be held in Jared's arms like this over and over again.

"I'm sorry I was a jerk to you," Jared whispered softly in Jensen's ear, sounding like he meant it. "I never hated you..." Jensen nodded in return and held Jared a little tighter, trying to let him know through the affectionate gesture that he understood.

All too soon (for Jensen, anyway) they pulled apart and the two of them sat staring at each other, as though they didn't really know what to do next. With a shaking hand, Jared put his fingers to Jensen's lips, running his thumb slowly over Jensen's bottom lip, and Jensen could feel the tension in the room all over again, but for different reasons, now.

"C-can I...?" Jared asked, him voice shaking.

It took Jensen a moment to work out what Jared was asking for. Jared seemed to take Jensen's confusion for reluctance, because he looked even more nervous, slowly moving back.

"No, wait! I mean, s-sure, you can!" Jensen encouraged, trying not to sound too eager as he worked out what Jared wanted.

With another nervous-sounding sigh, Jared leaned in closer so that his lips brushed against Jensen's. The kiss was only soft, sweet and innocent, but it was more than Jensen had expected he would get from Jared tonight, and it was one of the best kisses that Jensen had ever had in his life. It was somehow better than all of the frantic, passionate make-out sessions with previous boyfriends as they rushed to remove each other's clothing. This thing with Jared already felt way deeper than any of his past flings.

As the two of them grinned at each other, and Jared ducked his head nervously, briefly looking surprised at his own bravery before he cuddled into Jensen, nuzzling into his neck like he was trying to hide his face to cover up the fact that he was blushing again, Jensen vowed there and then that  _he_  was going to be the reason why Jared was no longer nervous around guys; the reason why Jared Padalecki realized just how how hot he was; but also the reason why Jared Padalecki thought that Jensen Ackles was the only guy he  _ever_  wanted to date.

As Jensen felt his own heart beating faster, he also had a strange feeling that Jared Padalecki would be making  _him_   feel nervous for years to come.


End file.
